How to Start Loving Yourself Today

Self care takes up a large portion of the content we consume - on social media, in news articles, blogs, video clips, career advice, etc. It’s hard to tune into any space and not hear about self care.

And to be honest, I love that for all of us. Taking care of ourselves is not meant to be secondary, or an activity we hold on to until “we have time”. No. Self love habits should be top priority and occur daily.

But what happens when you are ultra focused on self care without taking the necessary steps of truly loving yourself?

The thing is, you can’t self care your way into inner peace. 

Loving and being in love with yourself requires you to deep dive into your essence.

And sometimes that gets messy. And it’s most certainly overwhelming.

And yet - it is always worth it.

Joy is always worth the effort. 

Taking care of your mental health is always a good way to spend your time.

So how can you start loving yourself? Today. 

Let’s talk about it…

Remove outside opinions.

I’ll admit this one can be extremely difficult. I often equate that to its importance and influence on this journey of self love. No matter who it is, how much significance they hold in your life or the influence they have on you - nobody’s opinion of you is any of your business. You do not need outside opinions and/or validation in order to operate from your essence. No opinion of you is going to alter what your purpose for being here is. Remove them from your life. Every time the thought of an outside opinion comes into your head, tell it thank you, and tell it we won’t be subscribing any longer. *hits unsubscribe*

Define what makes you valuable. 

Think of this through the lens of this question: What value do I bring to the world around me? Write it down and read it often. Add to it as needed. 

Let people go.

Once you know the value you bring into this world, take inventory of the people you currently have in your life. Who fits where you’re trying to go? Who is holding you back? When someone falls into the category of holding you back, gracefully let them go. Some people are only meant to be in your life for a season. Respect the process.

Question the source of your fears.

Treat your fears like you’re following them in Google Maps. Whenever I’m afraid of something, I know it’s because that fear is sitting right in front of something I need to do - something that progresses me along this journey of fulfilling my life’s purpose. That means I need to talk to the fear. I say “What are you trying to warn me about?” and “What are you trying to hide from me?” The warning is usually going to address a self-limiting belief and/or a trauma that needs my healing attention. Whatever is being hidden is generally the next step I need to take in business, brand building, relationships, anything! So understand yourself and then keep it moving in the right direction.

Give yourself an abundant amount of grace.

It’s the name of the game. Did you mess up? Forgive yourself and speak to that inner child in a way that lets them know they are okay, their value is intact, the lesson is there, and success is on its way. Treat yourself with the ultimate level of softness and kindness

Say ‘yes!’ first. 

Say yes. Then figure out the how. We can talk ourselves out of even the most perfectly fitting opportunities because we don’t “feel ready”. That’s a trap. You’ll always figure it out, so say yes first.

Feel all of your emotions.

Don’t push down any of your emotions. Are you unexpectedly sad in the middle of an extremely happy experience or time in your life? Rather than acting defensively or feeling shame for sadness having the audacity to exist while you’re happy, sit with it. Say “Oh, hello sadness. I wasn’t expecting you today. Is there something you would like to tell me? Do you want me to know something?” The most beneficial thing we can do for our growth and mental health is befriending our emotions. Let it become the most stable relationship of your life. See what happens.

Seek out the beauty. In everything.

This is a great time to plug the amazingness of taking a daily walk outside. It’s impossible to be outside, walking around for 15-30 minutes and not find something beautiful to call out. You have so many sources. Some examples what was beautiful on my walk today are: an older gentleman helping his wife cross the street with the softest touch of his hands around her waist, a fuzzy caterpillar crawling on the sidewalk, kids chattering at warp speed as they excitedly get off the school bus, dogs (that’s it), the smell of the grill getting started, and the wind kissing my skin. Take inventory of the beauty around you every chance you get. Bonus: It’s ridiculously fun.

Operate from a space held for your highest self.

Imagine who you are at your best self. What do you eat? What do you read? How do you feel? What consumes your time? Imagine yourself in this space. Get extremely clear on the details. As you go forward with your day, measure everything you do, say, think and feel up to you at your highest self. It’s really just you versus you. Let the best you be your only competition.